Ellie was annoying me today. I'm afraid that I'll just stop loving her, that I'll just find her a drain, a boring and dopey waste of time. Today I was annoyed because she got upset when I got up from playing with her to go to the toilet. She whinged, then she came to see me. She was all happy, but I was annoyed, cause I just wanted a moment of peace-- on the can, for chrissakes. I hadn't closed the door. She threw some toys in, I threw them out, hoping she'd go get them, but she didn't.

She seems to get frustrated easily, and throws things around. This is getting annoying. I want her to have more patience (like me!?) and be a bit calmer. But I don't really want that-- the model of calm in the DS world are babies that just sit there, placid and uninterested. Definitely not what I want. So I want some more calmness in my life-- I need some time to myself, to sit by the pond in the park, and gather myself together. And I'm finding her annoying because she can't give me that. Though she's sleeping now :)
It's like, I can't have any interesting projects, because I don't have uninterrupted time for them-- and if a project can be interrupted at any time, it's probably not meaningful. Nothing I value can be done a few minutes here, a few there. Is this true?
I think i have to be a little more strict with her-- when she's rambunctious her energy is fine, but I have to stop her pinching me and pulling uncontrollably on the neck of my t-shirt. Calm down, tell me what you want, Up?

Maybe, if I can stand to be that sort of person.

I think the heat is changing Ellie's sleeping habits. Yesterday her naps lasted only half of their usual 1.5 hrs, and she didn't got to sleep till about 10-- then she woke up before 7am this morning. Again she only slept for 45 minutes for a nap. She was also quite whingy in the morning-- screaming if I left the room. Probably over-tired, but hard to tell. When she sleeps longer, she seems to wake up happier, when she sleeps for only 45 minutes, she seems to wake up crying. After her lunch today, we were having a cuddle and bounce to her favourite electro-pop, and she conked. I put her down, and went in about 15 minutes later to put some clothes away and she popped up with a big smile. So now she's helping me clean the back room. She's looking at me now-- why has he gone quiet?

Before nap time this morning we read one of her books "I can fly" six times! Repeating books is a new thing for her. Normally, if it's a book she likes she'll make it all or most of the way through it, but other ones she only listens to a couple of pages before throwing them on the floor. I helpfully say/sign "Finish book?". Then she picks another one. A lot of the fun is in the picking of the book I think -- she shows definite favourites, some she'll immediately throw on the floor, to make it easier to get the ones she wants.

The other interesting discovery today was the drawers in the bathroom. Fun things inside! A good excuse for cleaning them out.

Lots of things are being put "in" -- pick up rattle, put it in the back of the toy truck. Wooden animals and blocks can go into the container for plastic blocks. Up and in seem to be the interesting things. Not much of "on" -- Queen ellie is still opposed to structures.