I've got some Wiggles songs on my phone that I play for her when she's going to sleep. She's always been interested in the phone-- she turns it round and round, and holds it up to her ears, and shakes it, and waves it about. I think she likes that music comes out of it-- more than one of her rattles, say.

We've invented a new game with the phone. She puts it down the neck of my t-shirt, and smacks it around until she can get it out of the bottom of my shirt. I pop it down her shirt sometimes too. She giggles a lot-- I don't really get the joke, but I'm happy to play along. It's interesting-- she often loses track of where it is, even though the music is still playing, and I would have thought she could use the sound to find it. I guess that's something else that's learned. Also, she doesn't discriminate between the hard phone and the soft me when she's banging at me, trying to get it to drop down to where she can pick it up.

I've been feeling very flat recently, very low energy. So on top of not having much energy, I feel quite guilty that I'm not putting in the energy that she deserves. I play with her sort of tiredly, abstractedly. I'm not present with her. And I notice a big difference when mama comes home and has stacks of energy for her-- much more interesting play, and Ellie laughs and giggles a lot. I think it was the other way round when I was working and J was home. Though J is hardly ever flat and low energy.

I really feel that I have to snap myself out of it, cause it's not about just me any more.